Embarassing moments and fun with grocery shopping

So my husband and I were in the store getting a few items. We were in the produce section, and there were blueberries in the cart. I went to look at something, and when I came back I saw a cart just sitting there with blueberries and some other vegetables in it. Since husband tends to leave the cart unattended, I assumed it was our cart, and started putting things in and re-arranging things, etc.

Then some random woman started coming over, and at that moment I knew: it wasn't my cart. It was her cart. I had been moving around her broccoli and lettuce and putting in my stuff.

I was embarassed, very very very embarassed. I apologized profusely, and she wasn't too upset, but I felt the need to run away and hide in another section of the store anyway.  

Things:

1. Maine was beautiful. Great state

2. Go see my drawring at Dear God Damn Diary

3. I survived turning 30!! Nevertheless, I still feel old. I was visiting a friend with a 2-year old daughter yesterday; the daughter kept asking me "are you an adult?" And I had to think, oh, damn, I must be. I'm 30. I also had to refuse the use of a sippy cup because, heck, by now I should be able to drink out of a real glass. Right?

4. My blogiversary of 1 year is July 6. To celebrate, I plan to retire Corn Smut and start a new more boring blog to catalog my new more boring life as a 30-year old with a job and a very long distance relationship. Tentatively to be called boringsara.blogspot.com

5. That's it  

Name?

I went up to Boston today to fill out paperwork for my new job. I gave the stack of filled-in papers to the woman, and she asked,"what's your maiden name?"

"I don't have one," I said.

She looked at me suspiciously, "But it says here that you're married!"

"yes... but, I didn't change my name..."

Stupid society and its norms!  

Age

I'm going to be 30 in a week!

This is freaking me out.  

Lyrics: Stress
by Jim's Big Ego

I'm addicted to stress that's the way that I get things done
if I'm not under pressure then I sleep too long
and I hang around like a bum
and I think I'm going nowhere and that makes me nervous
Everybody's out to get me but I feel alright,
everybody's out to get me but I feel alright,
everybody's out to get me but I feel alright,
everybody's thinking about me.

It's the little things that get you it's the little things that get you,
it's the little things that get you when you weren't paying attention,
It's the little things that get you it's the little things that get you,
it's the little things that get you when you weren't paying attention.

I'm trying to cut down on my caffeine consumption
so when I get up I just have one cup of coffee
and I like to have another cup of coffee with my breakfast
and when I go to work I like to get a cup of coffee
like the kind of cup of coffee that you get with a doughnut
'cept I never get the doughnut I just get the cup of coffee
and when I get to work I like to have a cup of coffee '
cause I like to have a coffee when I'm talking on the phone
but It usually goes cold and I need to get another
cup of coffee and it's lunch and I have an espresso.
And when I get back it's not morning anymore
so I have a diet cola and another diet cola
and by then I'm feeling fine and I'm feeling pretty sharp
and I'm feeling pretty wired and I'm getting things done,
but right about two I get this little tiny migraine
and it starts behind my eyes and it moves to the back of my
neck and it moves to the bottom of my spine
but it doesn't get there until five or six o'clock
which is the end of the day so I'm fine so I'm fine so I'm fine so I'm fine,
except when I have to work late when I have to work late which I usuallydo.

I'm addicted to stress that's the way that I get things done
if I'm not under pressure then I sleep too long
and I hang around like a bum
and I think I'm going nowhere and that makes me nervous
Everybody's out to get me but I feel alright,
everybody's out to get me but I feel alright,
everybody's out to get me but I feel alright,
everybody's thinking about me.

I love to work I love to run I love to play real hard
I love to steal little things from the grocery store
like a piece of bubble gum or sometimes I just stick my thumb in a peachand leave it there.
I love to work I love to run I love to waterski, snowboard, jetski, skydive,
parasail, hang-glide, rollerblade, mountainbike, bungy-jump,
well I mean I'd love to do theses things if I ever had the time,
I love to work I love to work, I love to work out after work,
I love to spend a little time with this woman that I'm seeing
'cept we never really get a little time to spend together
so we call each other up and we talk about work.
But what I think I'd really love is to get out by myself
on a little tiny island in the middle of the ocean
with just me and a book and a cellular phone
and a personal computer incase something came up
and I'd eat and I'd drink and I'd run and I'd sleep
and I wouldn't do nothing except swim all day
'cept my beeper doesn't work under water,
where are the sharks? where are the sharks?
and there's this kind of anemone
that sticks in your foot and the poison goes up to your brain and you die
and sand fleas? sand fleas - yuck!
but actually I think it'd be really relaxing
just me by myself in the middle of the ocean
and that's what I'd really love to do more than anything else
except I'd probably hate it.

I'm addicted to stress that's the way that I get things done
if I'm not under pressure then I sleep too long
and I hang around like a bum
and I think I'm going nowhere and that makes me nervous
Everybody's out to get me but I feel alright,
everybody's out to get me but I feel alright,
everybody's out to get me but I feel alright,
everybody's thinking about me.

 

Graduation Day

So there we were in our robes and silly pincushion hats. As we were walking all around in the procession, and then entering the tent where the ceremony would take place, the guy next to me (getting his Ph.D. in computer science) said:

"Oh we're in the front row! How will I knit now?"

I thought he was kidding. But he wasn't. During the ceremony he took out a green ball of yarn and something that looked like a half-finished sock. He was knitting on three needles in a tube shape. And, as the graduates were announced and came up on stage, right in front of us, he knitted.

The woman in charge of reading all the stuff in Latin messed up big time, accidentally giving Ph.D.s to the Master of Teaching people. Whoops. That was a cheap Ph.D.!

It was fun to look at people's shoes, what they wore under their robes. This was the best part of being in the front row. Some people had on sensible shoes. Others had sloppy or even untied tennis shoes. Some women had flip-flops, and others had scarily high heels. I don't know how they walked up the steep hill during the procession! One woman had knee-high mega-platform boots.

And, of course, the parent circus in the background....

Somewhere amid this swirling chaos, I got my Ph.D.!

The End